hurting

sending pictures of you
of that day when
dress after dress
you tried them all
posing in front of the mirror
searching for the
perfect pair

for him.

bubblehead

nga pala, dumating na si joseph, jopet panget. wala lang. ano pang magagawa ko? meron ba? meron ba? kahit ano pa. may magagawa pa ba ako?

my existence is in vain

can you keep a secret?

hindi talaga ako maayos magsulat ng blog kapag wala sa "moment". sabi nila, mga writers daw ay nagsusulat, hindi sa kanilang "moment" kundi after pa nun kasi para yata magkaroon ng objectivity? makapagisip-isip muna? oh well... romantic point of view lang naman ni wordsworth yan. ang sakin lang, sarap kasi ibuhos sa keyboard yung mga galit mo sa mundo.

lesson of the day: TRUST YOUR WOMAN'S INTUITION

ayun lang... pag feeling niyo ginagago kayo ng mga boypren niyo, yung feeling na hindi mawala? makikinig kayo at wag niyo isasantabi yung thought until mapatunayan niyo na. note: not applicable for the über paranoid.

tsaka ayon.. secrets are allowed. pero naman. wag nman sa mukha ko yung "may sikreto kami! may sikreto kami! belat, di ka kasama sa sikreto namen!!!" kaya ayoko ng nagbubulungan sa harap ko eh. ala lang. i respect the secrets pero yoko lang ng ganun.

masakit ang knuckles ko kasi sinuntok ko yung pader. bow.

i've been wanting to reiterate something you didn't believe

at least nakahinga nako kahit papano. thanks sa ngiti at sa alak.

nung sabado

walang internet connection. walang magawa.

tagal ko na ring hindi nagu-update ng blog. haaayy... dami na nangyari ah. wonder if i should update everyday pero... hirap yata nun. magastos. every week naman, i'll try... kung hindi maraming gagawin.

speaking of gagawin, i should spend my time, going over post-colonial theories, finding out my focus or sleeping instead. but i still haven't heard from sheri and i just have to know if she arrived home safely. she told me that she felt that she's going to die tonight--not that i feel really scared about it--but oh well, scared. hehe... maybe I trust her instincts too much even though she actually reached her 20 years of age even when she said she's not going to.

so what if i die tonight? dunno. don't want to think about it...

but what i really want to do tonight is play an rpg game. just want to raise my level, be strong... haaayy...
and i want to unleash bitterness too. It's been, what, a week? since i've been itching to get that flavored alcohol down my throat but I've no time aside from the fact that I've been restricted to. That's rule no.1 and I don't want to lie. it's just that i feel that if i don't unleash them, i'd appear a very bitter ampalaya in all my narratives. shet. i want to be done with being an ampalaya.

speaking of narratives, i should be doing one now. but i decided, i won't do anything academic tonight. if only i have an internet connection, then maybe i'd get some work done with post-colonial readings and those papers for Baguio. i'm sure Madi's going to kill me--if not Ma'am G--if I still fail to submit them to the dean's office by Monday. Oh shet, I still have to make sir ferdie sign the papers. crap.crap. crap. really don't want to deal with authorities.

statement: i'm done with balat-sibuyas people. oops. bitterness na naman? hehe... i guess it's not comfortable anymore that i have to deal with people who I cannot be myself with because I have to constantly watch my words and my JOKES, lest I hurt someone. because apparently, jokes are half-meant and has to be treated with grave seriousness.