How can I make it through the day Without you You have been so much a part of me (and if you'll go) I'll never know what to do How can I carry on my way The memories When all that is left is the pain of my history Why should I live my life today I cannot live out on my own And just forget the love you've always shown And accept the fate of my condition Please don't ever go For I cannot live my life alone Say you'll never go Say you'll never go out my way Say you'll never go For we can still go on And make it through Just say you'll never go Say you'll never go away How can I make my dreams come true Without you You were the one who gave love to me (And don't you know) You are my fantasy I cannot live out on my own (I can't do anything at all) And just forget the love you've always shown And accept the fate of my condition Please don't ever go For I cannot live my life alone Say you'll never go Say you'll never go out my way Say you'll never go For we can still go on And make it through Just say you'll never go Say you'll never go away Say you'll never go Say you'll never go out my way Say you'll never go For we can still go on And make it through Just say you'll never go Say you'll never go away

Sunday, January 07, 2007

life goes on...

Our trip to my grandma's was okay. We met few of our relatives there mainly my cousins. I saw my grandma and was surprised that she became thinner and already had dark circles around her eyes. They say it must be due to her kidney problem. The last time I saw her, it was Christmas of 2005 and as I remember, she was still healthy-- not too thin and still has a healthy color in her skin.

My grandmother -- we call "lola" in Filipino -- she is very kind and cooks for us whenever we visit them every Christmas. My mother told us that it seems to her that my lola is a very patient woman who doesn't even know how to get mad. I am not close with my lola, not because I didn't want to, but I guess we were just not brought up that way. We rarely see our grandparents and perhaps there was not really enough time to build a relationship, especially when there are so many people in their house during the holidays.

You see, my grandparents on my father's side have 10 kids, my father is, if I'm not mistaken, the third of them. Funny, I'm not even sure of the order of my aunts and uncles in their family. I only know of the first, the second, the third and the last. Today, our extended family on the father's side has grown large. I have 22 cousins and then I don't know how many nieces and nephews I have from those cousins. I have cousins who are old enough to have 3 kids and go abroad while I have a cousin as young as a month old. With all of these, I praise my grandmother who was able to look after her 10 kids and still care enough for her grandchildren and the kids of her grandchildren.

Last December 29, my grandmother died. They informed my mother that night and then she broke the news to us the following morning. At first, I didn't believe it. I asked my mom how she died. I found out that she wasn't feeling well and was brought to the hospital on the 27th. She was accompanied by one of my father's cousins. She told me that she and lola had been joking around about her condition and took the situation lightly. Although according to my 2 aunts who was with her before she died, my lola uttered something like, "I think I'm going to die..."

I was sad, especially when I think about her weak appearance when I saw her last Christmas. There was, as if, a nagging feeling that she is soon to die. When we went to her wake last January 1, people were sad but I can see that they have already accepted her death. Afterall, everyone must be thinking that it is better for her to die than to suffer illnesses at her old age. The past year has been difficult for her because of illnesses. I heard she was in and out of the hospital and needed blood transfusions. So I think it was for the best.

Today is her funeral. I'm sad for my dad who cannot go because he is still abroad. He also wasn't able to go to my grandfather's funeral two years ago. It must be hard for him. But I know that he has already accepted what happened.


Did I tell such a sad story? My grandmother's death was sad for a while... but I know it's for the best. People live and die for a purpose and I think that she has already done her duties in life. She died at 74.

1 Comments:

Blogger ice_anGeL said...

condolence po

1:17 AM  

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