summer fireflies

I just have to live with the fact that I will never be enough...

"According to Aristophanes in Plato's Symposium,...In ancient times people weren't just male or female, but one of three types: male/male, male/female, or female/female. In other words, each person was made out of the components of two people. Everyone was happy with this arrangement and never really gave it much thought. But then God took a knife and cut everybody in half,... the upshot being that people spend their time running around trying to locate their missing other half."

How can I make it through the day Without you You have been so much a part of me (and if you'll go) I'll never know what to do How can I carry on my way The memories When all that is left is the pain of my history Why should I live my life today I cannot live out on my own And just forget the love you've always shown And accept the fate of my condition Please don't ever go For I cannot live my life alone Say you'll never go Say you'll never go out my way Say you'll never go For we can still go on And make it through Just say you'll never go Say you'll never go away How can I make my dreams come true Without you You were the one who gave love to me (And don't you know) You are my fantasy I cannot live out on my own (I can't do anything at all) And just forget the love you've always shown And accept the fate of my condition Please don't ever go For I cannot live my life alone Say you'll never go Say you'll never go out my way Say you'll never go For we can still go on And make it through Just say you'll never go Say you'll never go away Say you'll never go Say you'll never go out my way Say you'll never go For we can still go on And make it through Just say you'll never go Say you'll never go away

Saturday, October 28, 2006

mahirap magbenta ng sarili

magbenta nga ng sariling laman, mahirap na eh. Ewan ko ba, nakaka-depress lang isipin na magpaka-pokpok dahil wala namang bibili sakin.

Mahirap gumawa ng resume. ahehe... kailangang maglabas ng ego at isipin ang kamumunting kakayahan sa ugat--kung meron man. Kailangan ko pa bang isulat na marunong akong mag-Korean kahit super bano ako dun? Pati sa Spanish din? At sasabihin kong Excellent ang English skills ko kahit na hindi ko naman talaga sigurado ang pamantayan ng salitang 'Excellent'.

Patay-patay ako sa goals. Nung naisip ko yun... napatanong ako ng... ano nga ba? Siyempre malamang tatanungin ako kung san ko nakikita ang sarili ko ng 5 years time. Sasabihin kong nakikita ko ang sarili ko na may kotse at condominium. Tapos tatanungin ako kung pano ko yun matutupad. At sasabihin kong, umm... sasali sa Game Knb? At mauulit na naman ang nangyari, tatlong taon na ang nakararaan. Goodbye C&C.

E ano nga ba? Haven't really thought about that. O siguro meron. Umm...

Mag-iisip muna ako.

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Reprieve

Cold winds chill the bones
Icicles pierce the heart
Freezing rain drowns the soul

A cherry blossom smiles
Amidst the plains of snow.

On another Sunday Afternoon

Your palms and mine,
finger to finger
folded in a smooth linkage
of ins and outs
lines crisscrossing,
overlapping,
connecting.

Now, I feel half-empty.

Sa Pagtatapos ng Panahon ng Niyebe

Natutunaw ang yelo
mula sa kabundukan
at ang hanging dala nito
sa kapataga'y tila malamig na yakap
sa aking pagal na katawan.
Nasan ang mga bisig mong
magbibigay buhay
sa katauhan kong natigilan
sa gitna ng lugar kung saan
ang lahat ay walang pangalan?
huminga ang kabundukan
at malakas ang bulungan
ng luntian sa kapaligiran,
ngunit di mahihigitan
ang tahimik mong bulong sa aking tenga
"Halika" sabi mo,
at sa pagpikit ng aking mga mata
at sa muling paghinga ng kabundukan
magpapatangay ako
sa pakpak ng aking puso
patungo sa kweba
ng 'yong mga yakap.

Hearing... not

I opened the doors greeted by alcohol
It invited me further inside
To the corner
Where you sat
Nursing a glass of gin

The speakers vibrated
Like the pounding of my heart
I ran from the house
Three floors down
Three blocks on the road
Trying to catch you

Bottles clinked like bells at the next table
in cheers to celebrate a corporate secret:
the Boss still in tie just got hooked up
with the secretary bearing the biggest boobs
(Let's split up)

Smoke disperses in the air like the memories
of the warmth of our palms together,
fingers intertwined,
my head resting on the hollow of your chest
our last and first kiss
(Get your hand off me)

Sisig sizzles from the plate
electric jolts numbing my legs
(Take your chocolates home)
Men laugh showing off their tonsils

Still sitting still on the chair across from you
Staring at your finished glass of gin
Finished, not a single frop left
(Did you say something?)

I heard nothing but the
clicking of the latch
as the door closes.

Parting

sitting on a bench
my hand inching to reach yours
holding you tight
and with head low i said,
'stay'
but your eyes wander off
to the birds in the orange sky
flying off the horizon
my tears kissed the ground
as you free yourself from my grip
without so much as a goodbye
you fly away
and i'm left sitting still
embraced by the Baguio winds of December.