summer fireflies

I just have to live with the fact that I will never be enough...

"According to Aristophanes in Plato's Symposium,...In ancient times people weren't just male or female, but one of three types: male/male, male/female, or female/female. In other words, each person was made out of the components of two people. Everyone was happy with this arrangement and never really gave it much thought. But then God took a knife and cut everybody in half,... the upshot being that people spend their time running around trying to locate their missing other half."

How can I make it through the day Without you You have been so much a part of me (and if you'll go) I'll never know what to do How can I carry on my way The memories When all that is left is the pain of my history Why should I live my life today I cannot live out on my own And just forget the love you've always shown And accept the fate of my condition Please don't ever go For I cannot live my life alone Say you'll never go Say you'll never go out my way Say you'll never go For we can still go on And make it through Just say you'll never go Say you'll never go away How can I make my dreams come true Without you You were the one who gave love to me (And don't you know) You are my fantasy I cannot live out on my own (I can't do anything at all) And just forget the love you've always shown And accept the fate of my condition Please don't ever go For I cannot live my life alone Say you'll never go Say you'll never go out my way Say you'll never go For we can still go on And make it through Just say you'll never go Say you'll never go away Say you'll never go Say you'll never go out my way Say you'll never go For we can still go on And make it through Just say you'll never go Say you'll never go away

Sunday, July 23, 2006

long time no post

haaayy... tagal-tagal na ano? ehehehe... tagal ko na di nagpo-post samantalang araw-araw dati. oh well, ganun talaga kapag hindi na libre ang internet at kapag ang mga taong inaabangan mo sa net ay nasa tabi mo lang. mejo nagkaproblema nga ako dito sa blog eh. pero ayos lang, masaya rin naman kasing mag-express dito sa blog.

hmm... ayun, every week ay nag-aaway kami ng nanay ko. pero cease fire this weekend kasi may sakit sha. dared not open the topic nor clear my name in that "why didn't you text me" issue. basta, basta. kakainis na rin if i begin thinking of it and some other loads of bullshit that's been thrown at me. suspicions, accusations... whatever. if i had known last saturday that she wants we out of the house, i shouldn't have gone home.

hay naku tlg naman....

Saturday, July 08, 2006

k fine

ewan. di ko alam kung bakit na-crushan ko pa yung hayop na yun.

1. ok, hindi lang niya tinawag si sheri na "hot". "really hot friend" na.
2. he asked her for a date. and he asked ME to ask her.
3. he told me he liked marian. only if she wasn't head over heels with the jap guy
4. he's constantly asking me for "nice pinays"
5. he's a guy and therefore, he sucks.

whatever. i'm quitting.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

i don't know what to do

i should be doing my thesis instead of parking my ass here in front of the computer. sucks. i'm so lazy, i'll never get things done.

there is chaos in my life.

but I'm just happy... that someone is always there for me

: Name: summer fireflies

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Reprieve

Cold winds chill the bones
Icicles pierce the heart
Freezing rain drowns the soul

A cherry blossom smiles
Amidst the plains of snow.

On another Sunday Afternoon

Your palms and mine,
finger to finger
folded in a smooth linkage
of ins and outs
lines crisscrossing,
overlapping,
connecting.

Now, I feel half-empty.

Sa Pagtatapos ng Panahon ng Niyebe

Natutunaw ang yelo
mula sa kabundukan
at ang hanging dala nito
sa kapataga'y tila malamig na yakap
sa aking pagal na katawan.
Nasan ang mga bisig mong
magbibigay buhay
sa katauhan kong natigilan
sa gitna ng lugar kung saan
ang lahat ay walang pangalan?
huminga ang kabundukan
at malakas ang bulungan
ng luntian sa kapaligiran,
ngunit di mahihigitan
ang tahimik mong bulong sa aking tenga
"Halika" sabi mo,
at sa pagpikit ng aking mga mata
at sa muling paghinga ng kabundukan
magpapatangay ako
sa pakpak ng aking puso
patungo sa kweba
ng 'yong mga yakap.

Hearing... not

I opened the doors greeted by alcohol
It invited me further inside
To the corner
Where you sat
Nursing a glass of gin

The speakers vibrated
Like the pounding of my heart
I ran from the house
Three floors down
Three blocks on the road
Trying to catch you

Bottles clinked like bells at the next table
in cheers to celebrate a corporate secret:
the Boss still in tie just got hooked up
with the secretary bearing the biggest boobs
(Let's split up)

Smoke disperses in the air like the memories
of the warmth of our palms together,
fingers intertwined,
my head resting on the hollow of your chest
our last and first kiss
(Get your hand off me)

Sisig sizzles from the plate
electric jolts numbing my legs
(Take your chocolates home)
Men laugh showing off their tonsils

Still sitting still on the chair across from you
Staring at your finished glass of gin
Finished, not a single frop left
(Did you say something?)

I heard nothing but the
clicking of the latch
as the door closes.

Parting

sitting on a bench
my hand inching to reach yours
holding you tight
and with head low i said,
'stay'
but your eyes wander off
to the birds in the orange sky
flying off the horizon
my tears kissed the ground
as you free yourself from my grip
without so much as a goodbye
you fly away
and i'm left sitting still
embraced by the Baguio winds of December.